Back and Better
- Allison Eckhart
- Jan 12, 2019
- 2 min read
Today marks Secrets of the Single Girl’s 2-year anniversary. I’m sure half of you didn’t even realize SSG was still around since it’s been so long since I’ve written.
When I started this blog, it was simply because I had so many feelings, but I was too scared to talk about them. I was devastated from a breakup (original, I know) and I just couldn’t figure out where I fit in. I was strong and independent, yet self-conscious with a hot temper. Talking about my feelings was completely off limits. I was afraid of being judged, being wrong or worse…admit to myself that I wasn’t as strong as I *hoped* I appeared to be. Ugh.
So I started writing.... about daddy issues, online dating and whatever else I wanted to talk about. My goal was to put out 1 blog a week. And I did! And I loved it! I loved getting feedback, and questions and just being able to connect with a part of myself I had always been scared of.
And then I dated a guy and did the relationship thing a bit. And it didn’t work out. And I dated some more and so on and so forth. But while I was trying to put effort into the different relationships, my writing took a hit. I cared more about making it work with the guys then my blog...my baby, what I had worked so hard for! And deep down, I cared more about making it work with the guy and proving to the 18 year old Allison that I was "enough."
The pressure of being ridiculously funny or extremely vulnerable, by Wednesday at 10am was tough! And trying not to write about the guys I dated was even harder. So I stopped writing about how I felt and wrote about what I thought people wanted to read.
But by trying to please everyone else, I lost myself. I lost myself in my writing. I lost myself in my relationship and I lost myself as a high value woman. I dated someone who was emotionally and verbally abusive. And stayed because of “love” or because he was going through a hard time or whatever excuse I could think of.
If you are miserable with someone for longer than you are happy, there is a big problem with that. I kept thinking if I saw myself now, back in 2017, I would slap the shit out of me and say “get it together!!!”
So I’m back. I can’t promise I’ll write a blog once a week. I can’t promise I’ll be ridiculously funny or extremely vulnerable every week. I can’t even promise this blog will stick to just dating and relationships now! But I can promise I’ll be honest, with you and with myself.
Cheers to us. We've come along way.
Xoxo
Allison
This is such an empowering and insightful post! I love how you emphasize the importance of self-worth and not settling for less than you deserve. Finding a high-value man is crucial because a high-value partner brings stability, respect, and emotional security to a relationship. A man who values you will not only support your goals but also inspire you to grow into the best version of yourself.
I also appreciate the emphasis on waiting until marriage to have sex. In today’s world, this perspective is often overlooked, but it’s so important. Waiting until marriage fosters a deeper emotional connection, builds trust, and ensures that the relationship is rooted in commitment rather than fleeting physical attraction. It’s about valuing yourself enough…
Love you Allison best wishes for you.