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If You Can't Say Something Nice...


Last week was our 1 year anniversary. I’m sure you know that because I was blowing up all the social media pages with it. I’ve poured my heart, soul and tears in these posts. I love my day job at my dental office…but writing has become a passion that I didn’t even know I had.

So as I’m celebrating with my friends, meeting new friends and having a great time, one of my twitter followers decided to respond to my celebration tweet. Now I’ve talked back and forth with this guy, and he seemed nice enough. But this tweet deeply hurt my feelings.

Now, one could say that I was being sensitive. Or maybe that I didn’t get the joke. True…maybe both of those things were true. But it doesn’t invalidate my feelings.

The thing about this tweet is that it’s meant to hurt my feelings. It’s meant to make me second guess myself. And it’s meant to make me feel worthless because I'm not in a relationship. Anytime anyone says “I feel sorry for you” they are not actually sorry.

Now normally I just bust some balls, screen shot it to Instagram and my followers see how shitty people are. I laugh it off and go about my day. The problem is nowadays, it’s become the norm for a man to insult a woman. I’ve had men tell me they can see my gray hair, or my writing sucks or even that I’m not funny or pretty. But their opinion does not and never will matter.

And it’s not just men. Women are just as bad, if not worse. We just won’t say it directly to the person. Women bond easily, though, in my opinion. I make friends easily and I try to be nice to everyone. So if a girl doesn’t like me, it’s on them.

If you’re going to be mean, why say anything at all? Why go out of your way to make someone feel bad? Imagine if everyone kept their mean hearted comments to themselves, what kind of world we’d be living in? The saying “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all” if obviously not been heard recently.

My friend Jo-el and I got into a fight with a man at a bar recently. This man kept approaching me and complimenting me. And when I told him I wasn’t interested he called me a bitch. And then kept yelling at us, calling us all sort of names. He then asked if we were leaving and then if he could stand at our table. It was a shit show, to say the least. And it ended with him screaming “I know a bitch when I see one. Bitch #1 and Bitch #2.”

A man on Bumble asked about my blog and dating and then told me he should have let me expire, but with an LOL at the end. And when I called him out on it, he had nothing to say.

Why can’t people, men AND women, be happy for one another? Why can’t we praise others accomplishments? Why are insults the go to? I can’t believe that insults and being mean are a form of flirting?

We're taught on the playground that if a boy is mean to you, he actually likes you. So we're basically encouraging the behavior in hopes that some asshole 1st grader will hold our hand at recess.

Men….insults don’t work. We are all just blips in the universe. And if you’re being a shitty person then you are less of a blip. Spread love. Spread happiness. Spread encouragement.

But I am also not above cussing an ignorant person out and then giving a good junk punch.

So fuck you twitter follower, for feeling sorry for me. And fuck you for *attempting* to make me feel like I’m not enough. I am and will always be a strong woman and I don’t need your unwanted sympathy.

And men, stop insulting women. If you ever wonder why you’re single…go through your texts and see how girls respond to you. Because I'll tell you...I’ve never fallen for a guy who didn’t think I was amazing 99.9%.

My friend Drew sent me the most amazing message a week or so ago and it still makes me happy. This is how people show affection, whether romantic or friendly. My friends are supportive, they love me for me and they accept my sass. A stranger is just a friend you haven’t met you. But that only works if you’re nice.

This is how we should be talking to people. Imagine how things would be if people didn't insult people over the internet. Think of all the online bullying that wouldn't exist.

Compliment one person every day and see how you feel at the end of the week. I can guarantee you that you will feel happier, and so will the people around you.

Till next time.

Xoxo

Allison


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