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Ask Allison: Is Once a Month Enough?

I love answering questions. It’s probably one of my favorite things about writing this blog. I love questions, concerns, feedback…all of it. So I recently received a question from a male reader that I thought was interesting.

“How often should you see the person you’re dating. Is there like a rule that says you should see the person at least once a month in this busy world”

The timing of this question was interesting to me. I just got out of a long distance dating type thing. And everyone knows the problem with long distance is how often you see the person.

I feel like if you’re in a relationship with someone, or even just dating, then you probably really like them. And when you really like something you want as much of it as possible right? Well it’s like that in a relationship, too.

When you like someone, normally you want to see them as much as possible. You want to spend time with them, and get to know them. Regardless of how busy you are, you make time for the things that are important to you.

There’s no general rule about how often you should see the person you are with. If you have a crazy busy schedule and you’re working till 7pm and then go to the gym and you’re exhausted every day then may it’s time to reevaluate if you even have time for a relationship.

I think most women would say they’d like to see their man pretty regularly. I dated a guy a million years ago. We didn’t text much during the day…however we saw each other 7 times in 9 days. We went to eat, went to concerts, went out for drinks. There was no doubt in my mind that he liked me. It obviously didn’t work out, but at the time I knew he wanted to see me because he was making effort.

In the dating stage, women need to see effort. We need to see that you want us, and want to be with us. Texting throughout the day if great, but if I don’t see you for 3 weeks then I’m probably not going to be attached to you. And when the attachment disappears, so does the relationship.

Back to the question. I want to know why you only want to see your girl once a month? You should be trying to see her once or twice a week! What are you doing on the weekends? What are you doing at night that keeps you from seeing your lady friend?

If I had it my way I’d see someone I’m dating twice a week. Once during the week and once on the weekend. The longer we’re together, the more time we spend together.

But think about it…if you’re casually dating someone there is no commitment. So if you are only seeing her once a month, then who is she spending the other 29 days with? Because you better fucking believe anyone worth it isn’t spending her time waiting for you to get your act together.

If someone wants to be with you, they will be. Plain and simple. They will drive 2 hours to tell you goodnight. Or they’ll take a trip to see you on their day off. No one is THAT busy that they can’t see you regularly.

We make time for the things that are important to us.



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