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I used to be called nice…way back when. Back when I cared so much about other people’s opinions. When I cared more about finding a man then my happiness in that relationship. Back when I would never stir the pot. Oh how times have changed.
I was brought up to be nice. To respect my elders and not talk back. I was taught to do what I was told. Even if I didn’t agree with things in church or school, I never said anything. I think that most kids who were raised in the 80’s and 90’s were taught the same. Our parents taught us the things they were taught and so on.
So what exactly is a nice girl? A nice girl, per the dictionary, is agreeable. When it comes to dating, a nice girl is someone who is low value or doesn’t know their worth. Yes, I sound like a bitch…but whatever. You should be used to that by now. Obviously it’s not every single woman who is nice, but I’d say a good chunk. And again, I was one of them.
Fuck being agreeable. When did that ever get us anywhere?
Let’s pretend you have a girl named Amy and she likes a guy name Justin. He sends her “thinking of you texts” once a week, if that. She reeeealllly likes him so she’s always flattered by his lack luster effort. Justin texts her on a Tuesday at 4pm to grab drinks and catch up. But he wants to meet that same fucking night. A nice girl would probably say ok.
Or what if Amy and Justin were going on their 2nd date. They had plans for dinner and a movie at 7, but now he’s not available till 9:30pm. So instead of going to dinner and seeing a movie, he proposes she come to his place to “watch a movie.” A nice girl would be excited.
Lastly, what if Justin asked Amy to grab drinks the same night but she already had plans. She wants to see Justin for a drink and proposes Friday or Saturday night but he has plans. He tells Amy she should change her plans because he really wants to see her. A nice girl probably would because she likes him.
Well I’m not a nice girl. And I think all the scenarios are complete and utter bullshit. When did a man’s schedule become more important than my own? When did a once a week text constitute as dating? And why should I change my plans to see someone when he wouldn’t do the same for me?
If a man asks me to go out for a same day date I’m always offended. I always think…if you wanted to see me sooooo bad then why did you have so much trouble sending a text sooner? Did your original plans cancel and now you have a free night? Or did someone finally call you on your bull shit and you’re trying to fill your roster up again? Guys, you see our social media, you know we’re busy…you really think we have nothing better to do than accept your date to watch baseball with you and your roommates?
I didn’t notice same day dates until I moved to LA. Guys in LA love same day dates. Maybe it’s because they’re bored or they just don’t get it. But if you deny a guy’s same day texts and he never reaches out again, you know he was a douche bag to begin with and was probably just looking to get sexed. But if you deny him and then he reaches out with advanced notice, maybe he’s actually a good guy whose just clueless.
Now if you’ve been seeing each other regularly, and you hear from him often then a same day date is fun and spontaneous. But if you haven’t talked to him since August then he can go fuck himself or whatever nice girl that accepts his 2 hour notice.
A nice girl doesn’t want to stir the pot. She doesn’t want the man to be upset and not want to see her again. She wants so badly for Justin to continue to text her once a week, because it’s better than nothing. A nice girl wants to be in a relationship so she puts up with the bullshit. Because maybe, just maybe he’ll want to actually be in a relationship with her one day *eye roll*
A cool girl doesn’t care about your same-day date because she already has plans. A cool girl doesn’t care about your once a week texts because she has 4 other guys who think about her daily. And a cool girl doesn’t accept your Netflix and Chill offer. She knows her value and worth. She doesn’t accept anything less. No matter how great a guy is, if he doesn’t show up 100% then he’s not the right one.
Do you think Rihanna accepts a same day date? Hell no. Or Beyoncé? Definitely not. Once you know your worth, so will your man.
Xoxo
Allison