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Well I made it. Today is my last day of no online dating. Can you believe I went one month with no online dating?! I guess my addiction wasn’t as strong as I thought. I also didn’t want to fail, especially with all of you reading, because that's embarrassing. But let me tell you...meeting someone
Offline dating is SO. MUCH. BETTER.
It’s interesting how the month of August was a game changer for me. I didn’t anticipate this emotional overhaul, especially by just deleting a couple apps. I was really fucking nervous! The first week was super easy, I didn’t notice much change. But that second week killed me. When I wasn’t going on a date I was sitting at home bored out of my mind. But hey, my apartment has never been cleaner.
But now I realize how great this experiment was for me. This month has made me really, truly feel freer. I wasn’t constantly checking my phone. My battery stayed charged wayyy longer, like 75% at 5pm. I don’t miss the guys I used to miss, in fact I don’t think about them at all. My social calendar was jam packed. I spent more time with my friends. I met someone I like. August has probably been the best month of 2017 for me.
A couple things really stood out to me while on my break. One thing I’m most happy about is I became more spontaneous. If someone asked me out, I went. If a friend wanted to meet for Happy Hour, I went. If someone asked me to go to Vegas, I went. Now this probably sounds fairly normal for most people. I, however, am not spontaneous. At all. I don’t do anything spur of the moment. So this is a pretty big deal for me.
My best friend, Emma, recently told me that I had more dates while being off dating apps. I was telling her I had 3 dates planned every week and she said that I’m dating way more. The most interesting thing about this was that the tool that is supposed to actually help you get more dates is actually a hindrance for most people. When she and I would go out, I was a lot more open to giving my phone number out. If I thought someone was attractive and they asked...I’d give it out. Most turned out to be psycho, but that’s why the block button is there.
Another thing that I love being off of dating sites…is I can’t stalk the guys and they can’t stalk me. No asking about my trip to Mexico last year, or their Uncle Jerry’s birthday party. Because we only know what we talked about for 20 minutes at the bar. They also don’t get to read my blog beforehand. So they don’t know what I like, what I don’t like….my previous relationships, etc. There is no preconceived notion about me.
Now this has been my thought from the beginning of this experiment, but it was definitely confirmed. Guys have less competition when you’re not swiping, and they know it! Maybe it’s a sixth sense, or maybe they just noticed I wasn’t on my phone. But when I was out meeting guys, or even on dates guys were much more open. And to be honest, I probably was as well.
My favorite thing about meeting guys out was that they are SOOOO much quicker to plan a date. I’d give a guy my number, he’d text me the next day to plan a night to take me out. Does that EVER happen on Bumble/Tinder/Hinge? The biggest complaint I get, from both sexes, is that it’s all messages and no meeting. I’ve talked to guys for weeks and they would never ask me out. And I know girls are the same way. You have a textual relationship. When a guy meets you IRL he knows what he’s getting. No fakes, phonies, and no chest up profile pics.
On the flip side, though, when a guy asks you for your number IRL and you say no…they get pissed. Not like an “ok, fine.” It’s more of a “fuck you, I didn’t want your number anyways!” No one wants to be rejected, but it’s 100% worse when it’s face to face. Guys were not nice at all.
When you’re sitting at home swiping, you lose track of time. You might not be as interested in the texting conversations you have going on. If you meet someone you may think you have a couple back up plans. By not being online, I’m not constantly thinking of the “what if’s, the what could be’s and the who else is out there.” That’s the end game right? Meet someone who knocks your socks off? How are they supposed to do that with your head buried in your phone?
All in all I like who I am offline dating. I’m more receptive to people. I’ve been a better friend to my friends. I’m a better communicator and I’ve met so many interesting people. Will I stay away from online dating forever? Probably not. But I’m not in any hurry to re-download.
*If you asked me out in August, and I said no...here's your chance*
Xoxo
Allison