top of page

How to Not Make Your First Your Last

First dates are hard. There are so many rules to follow, and things not to do. It’s annoying. And every list you see has the same shit on it. DON’T think it’s cool to not eat or DON’T mention an ex. Seems pretty standard, right?

So it got me thinking of all my first dates in the past 12 months. I’ve always said I’ve never had a bad first date….except one. Which just happened to be for a TV show. Fucking Riccardo. In the past 12 months, I’ve had 15 first dates. Doesn’t seem like a lot, right? But almost all of them led to 2nd dates and even relationships. So I think my odds have been pretty good.

The thing about first dates is one move can make or break it. You both are basically testing each other to see if you have chemistry, good conversation and fun. But you’re also judging each other. There are all these lists out there about the what to do and not to do…but I have yet to see the tips people don’t tell you. So I made my own.

I really hate talking on the phone, like despise it. But the two guys that called me before our scheduled date ended up getting ranked higher. We talked for maybe 5 minutes, but they also confirmed. Confirmations are a big fucking deal. Depending on when the date is made, whoever made the plans should confirm either day before or the morning of. And *if* you are going to be an asshole and flake, give your datee some notice. If my eyeliner goes on and then you cancel, don’t even bother. If you just don’t show up, you’re a dick and should not be allowed to date (girls, I’m talking to you.)

So now the actual date. It should go without saying but look nice and smell even better. No one wants to smell your nasty BO. If you are picking up your girl, do not be early. I repeat…do not be early! She is using every second to look as good as possible. And we haaaaaattttteeee being rushed, perfection takes time! When she walks out, get out of your damn car! I cannot even begin to tell you how many guys just sit and wait in their car. Out of 6 guys who I allowed to pick me up, only 2 got out of their car. Isn’t a good, full body hug better than a reach around hug in the car? YES IT IS. And always open her door.

If you are meeting at the restaurant the guy should show up early. Check in for your reservation (which you should always have if you are getting dinner) or scope out a good sitting area at the bar or a table. A girl will most likely show up a couple minutes late so she can make her entrance. And when everyone turns around to look at her, you’ll know you hit the jackpot. And guys…if you are at a table where one side is a booth, and the other is a chair….the girl ALWAYS gets the booth. Even if she met you there and you were sitting in the booth, she still gets it!!!! We don’t want to watch you looking at people come and go. And the booth is more comfortable, duh :)

So the date is going great, you both are feeling each other and then the check comes. It’s always been my opinion that whoever asked the other person on the date pays. I do think the most gentlemanly thing a man can do is pay, but it’s 2017 and not necessary. But fellas, you’ll get some brownie points for sure. And if you go somewhere after, it’s nice if the girl pays for drinks or whatnot, but again up to you. But no one will be pissed if you split the bill.

So hopefully you walk her to her car/uber, whatever mode of transportation. A man should always walk closest to the street. I feel like this should be common knowledge, but you’d be damn surprised. Out of 15 guys….only 3 did this. I was shocked. And this is also a great time to hold hands if you’re feelin each other. If not, do not touch and do not go in for a kiss. She will tell all her friends about it and they will laugh about it for days. An unwanted kiss or touch could completely ruin your chances.

And lastly, the next day….guys texts your girl! Let her know you had a great time (if you did) and you’d like to see her again! After a date, we’re just as self-conscious as you are, if not more. Did he like me? Did he have fun? Does he think I’m pretty? Does he want to see me again? If we don’t get a text the next day, we will probably assume you don’t like us that much. If you wait a week to text us after a first date, we’ve probably already moved on to the next suitor. Girls build feelings on communication. That’s why we love when you text us randomly, or send us funny meme. Or even…wait for it….plan the next date.

Again, these are just my tips. If you don’t do any of this and you’re getting laid, then kudos to you. We may notice if you don’t do all of these things, but we’ll for sure notice if you do.



bottom of page