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The Beatles Said It Best...

...All you need is love. And love is such a bizarre thing. It’s the thing that every single person wants. Whether it’s love of another person, love of a child, a job, even a pet. Love is the thing that we all strive for every day. We want to love and we want to be loved. I’ve never been in love, but I’ve seen true love and the effect is has on those people. And damn, it’s amazing.

To me, love isn’t this big over the top production. It’s a bunch of small, amazing experiences all put together. You meet in person or online, you feel that thing, and it goes from there. Even if you start as friends, you still feel something for the other person…otherwise why would you be friends with them? You like someone and it turns to love.

My grandparents have been together for 44 years. My grandma is 13 years older than my grandpa (because she’s a badass.) He was her boss in the factory where they met. They fell in love quickly but couldn’t tell anyone where they worked. My grandpa told my grandma that when he walked by her station and rubbed his eye, it was his “I love you.” I used to spend my summers at their house and I noticed my grandpa would make my grandma coffee every morning and place a napkin over top. One day I looked closely at the napkin and it had a finger and an eye. Small experience.

There is couple at my office that have been married for over 50 years. I see them once a month, due to the husbands declining health. One day the wife was telling me about how they met. He saw her at a beach party in the Hamptons and was instantly smitten. He asked her out and she said no, she wanted to be single over the summer. He knocked on her front door the next morning with a dozen flowers and asked her to dinner that night. They’ve been together ever since. Small experience.

Love is a feeling, but it’s also a choice. Imagine being 90 years old and waking up next to your husband or wife and realizing they have chosen you every day. They chose to be your husband for 70 years. Through the fights and the arguments. Through sickness and health. They loved you enough to choose you every day.

Small experiences lead to big feelings. I had a cyst removed from my nose and obviously documented the before and after pictures on IG Stories. I only told 2-3 people I was having the procedure, one of which is a guy I met at a bar 6ish months ago. We still talk fairly regularly and we stalk each other’s social media. I got a text the next morning saying “How are you?? I’m done with work for the day, if you need anything let me know.” We've never even been on a date and he cared enough to ask me how I was. Small experience.

When I fall in love, it’s not going to be with the guy who takes me to fancy dinners or events (not that those things aren’t great, because they are.) It’s not going to be with the guy who texts me once a week to “hang out.” I’m going to fall in love with the person who gets out of the car to hug me before a date. It’s going to be with the man who sends flowers to my work when I’ve had a rough day. It’ll be the guy who makes me take the Elderberry because I’m starting to get sick. And it’ll be the guy who checks on me to make sure I’m alright.

It’s the small experiences in life that make a relationship what it is. It’s those moments where you look at your partner and you can’t believe they chose you.



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