Hey guys…Remember Me?
I know it’s been awhile, which I hate. But honestly, I haven’t really felt like writing. Life happens, things get in the way, work is overwhelming and all of a sudden, the month has gone by in a blink of an eye.
To be honest, I’ve been having a hard time. It seems like as soon as I turned 30, my life flipped upside down. Yes, I know it’s not because I turned 30. Duh. Being 30 has been awesome.
But life is hard. Life is really hard. I get in these moods a couple times a year. I wouldn’t call it depression, because it doesn’t last long and I know it doesn’t go as deep as most people. Maybe it’s seasonal? All I know is stress eating has taken it's toll.
My stress levels have been overwhelming. I don’t normally have anxiety, I usually keep pretty calm and I don’t have a high stress lifestyle. I sit at a desk and I get to schmooze movie people and business folks all day.
The hard part about stress (besides every other thing) is that it’s hard to talk about. Maybe not for everyone, but for me it is. Because I feel like everyone else’s stress is so much greater. I know my stress doesn’t add up to other peoples. It feels wrong to talk about stress or being sad, when you know other people have it way worse.
Maybe we don’t talk about it because we don’t want to be a burden. I don’t want to talk about my stress to someone else, because I don’t want them to take on my issues. I don’t want to add to whatever stress they may have.
But here I am talking about it to you.
I hate this feeling. I just want to go curl up on my big couch and watch movies and eat popcorn all day. My apartment is like my sanctuary. It’s my favorite place to be. It’s small, kinda dark and just wonderful. It’s my own little vampire cave. So, when I’m in these moods it’s the only place I want to be.
Maybe people around me can feel the energy. Or maybe they just know something is up. But I had 2 people check in with me this week. At first, I thought “how strange, someone I hardly know is emailing me to make sure I’m ok.” And the other person, my life coach, brought me a late birthday gift yesterday called “the little book of MINDFULNESS. Focus, Slowdown and Destress.” She wanted to make sure I was taking care of myself.
What I keep having to tell myself is that it gets better. For 98% of the year, I have verrrry little stress. So, this little thing happening will pass, just like all the other times.
What I do tell myself, and even my clients, is to feel those feelings. Really let it resonate for 15 minutes or however long you need. If you’re sad, let your mind and body feel sad. If you’re mad, it’s ok to feel mad. And if you’re stressed, it’s ok. But don’t let it linger.
I think as a whole, we should be checking in with each other way more. If we notice our friends or acquaintances are acting different, ask them if they’re ok! Now if you say “oh, are you in a bad mood?” (which happens to me all the fucking time) then it may not end well for you. But a simple text that says “Hey, just checking in. Everything ok?” Will *hopefully* always be welcomed.
Where we are at as a community and country is stressful. Be kind to one another.
I had talk with my life coach yesterday. What was meant to be 20 minutes turned into an hour and a half. But I woke up today feeling so much better.
I just needed someone to talk to, without judgement. And hopefully I’ll get back in the swing of things.