To Chill, or Not to Chill

Whenever I talk to people about dating, all I hear is how much it sucks. Women are too needy or men only care about sex. It’s like a never ending battle of the sexes. Who sucks more, men or women?

Guys don't have to try for a girl to like them, but we do. Girls try too hard for a guy to like them and they don’t. Did anyone ever stop to think that men don’t court women anymore? And women put out way too soon? Probably, but no one likes to read those things, just like people don’t like writing about it. What’s the saying…."ask for forgiveness, not permission.” Which to me means you can royally fuck something up, but it’s not reeeeeaaaalllllly your fault. Guys don't court or chase after women anymore because they know they don't need to. If a girl doesn't sleep with a guy within 3-4 dates the guy knows he can find another girl who will blow him the next night or weekend.

The biggest example in my book Netflix and Chill. What the hell. When did a second or third date mean you can come over to my apartment, get me wine drunk and expect to do the nasty? I don’t even know you bro! I went on a date with a really great guy 2 weeks ago, we’ll call him Colin. We had a great time, laughed the entire evening. But I went 5 days and didn’t hear anything from him. Instead of getting my panties in a bunch, I didn’t worry about it. Maybe the date actually sucked. But then I get a Facebook message….the dreaded Facebook message. He said something along the lines of “Hey you. Want to come over tomorrow night and order in?” I said I had other plans and haven’t talked to him since.

I was actually seeing someone who pulled the Netflix and Chill move. I don’t really know if we were super cas' or what…but we had sort of determined we were dating and all was right in the world. I actually thought it could be something. Shocking, I know. We hooked up, blah blah blah. So he asked to hang at my place one night. Insert experiment. We had never just hung out at my place, so I was interested to see what moves this person was going to try and pull.

So he brings over 2 bottles of wine, which was aggressive but I love wine so all good. He also brought some brownies (which were not gluten free by the way) because I told him I love brownies. Off to a good start. We watched some tv, talked a bit and then made out (because duh). He tries to do the nasty and gets denied. And now, it’s been 7 days and I have not spoken to him once. Someone who pursed me for the better part of 3 months….POOF!

I'm going to give you men a piece of advice....if you like a girl, and want to sleep with her/date her/wife her...make sure she doesn't see you with a bunch of other sluts on your IG story/Snapchat. Because guarantee she will not be in the "mood" if she thinks you fucked a THOT in the same week.

Netflix and chill requires little to no effort from a guy. You have to wear pants (and you'll probably wear the gray ones). Then you pick up a bottle or two of wine, both of which have the highest alcohol content you can find. And maybe, if you're splurging, you'll pick up a Redbox. Guys don't even bring flowers anymore, they either bring condoms or the clap.

Do you realize how hard Netflix and chill is for a woman?! We have to shower, shave our legs (ahem, entire bodies). Then we have to wash our hair because we know you'll be close enough to smell the good shampoo we used just for you. Then we have to do our hair in a way that says I worked all day and definitely didn't wash this mop for you...but I do in fact look this good at all times. Then makeup, dear baby Jesus the makeup. We have to apply just enough so we look good, yet little enough so it looks like we've been lounging casually and have never used an eyelash curler. Concealer....What's that? Contour...baby, these cheek bones are au naturale. And it has to be just light enough that you don't notice when it rubs off from our hardcore makeout sesh.

Then the outfit....do we wear yoga pants to show our ass since we have been doing squats for 5 years now? Or do we wear shorts because it's 85 degrees in our non-air conditioned apartment. And the cleaning....we do the dishes, scrub the toilet, make sure our closet of clothes doesn't explode when the front door closes. And you won't even put down the toilet seat down when you come over. And YET you still expect us to fuck you when we are exhausted from trying to look cool but casual FOR YOU.

My issue is, you can’t complain about dating being so horrible if you are contributing to the non-sense. Men don’t need to court women anymore because we don’t demand it (demand sounds harsh, but you get it.) Remember back in the day when men would bring a woman flowers on their first date?! MIND = BLOWN. Low value girls are not requiring men to be gentleman. We sleep with them after 3 hangouts, which includes the 11pm “where you at” text. And men aren’t holding their women to a higher standard either.

Girls have made it easy! Sorry ladies, but it’s true. Out of the 5-6 men I’ve dated in 2017, only 1 has actually courted me the way a man should. Why should men expect to get laid on the 3rd date? Yes, the third date rule is actually a thing.

We let men pull the Netflix and chill move because we think/hope/pray it will solidify the relationship. But honestly, how often do you hear from the guy, let alone get into a relationship with him after? Slim to none. We make it so easy, because we’re scared to be alone or maybe we think they’ll change. Listen up…they don’t! Show a girl you don’t care and she’ll chase you. Show a woman you don’t care and she’ll replace you. Boy Bye!

Lastly, if you have to tell a girl you are not a fuckboy then you are indeed a fuckboy. I'm all about sex. It's amazing. Multiple orgasms is God’s gift to us women for having to go through child birth. But fuck your Netflix and chill!

Xoxo

Allison